


Love Isn't an Accident

by MaureyLove



Series: Connor and Evan are too dense [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Kleinsen, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Treebros, galaxygals, what is tagging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-14 20:42:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14144163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaureyLove/pseuds/MaureyLove
Summary: This is just a look at how I think of Connor and Evan before/during my story, "Its an Accident, I Swear!"You don't really need to read it for this to make senseAU where Evan never liked Zoe, and liked Connor instead





	1. Connor DOESN'T like Evan.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, because I had things I thought about for that story, but I realized it wouldn't make sense in the chatfic format, so, here we are  
> Probs won't be a ton of stuff, just somewhat trying to build context for the other story, very short
> 
> Lemme know if this is bad or not

Connor didn't like Evan.

In fact, he didn't really like anyone.

It wasn't that he didn't find anyone attractive, on the contrary, he found a lot of guys cute. He just knew that fact wouldn't really get him anywhere with anyone.  
Everyone knew him, and feared him. For good reason, he supposes; even if he was in a good mood, everyone acted as if he was a bomb, just slowly ticking by, waiting to explode. He hated it.

There was only one person who didn't act like that.

Hansen, the literal embodiment of anxiety, who cries at fucking everything, the kid who ran out of class because someone looked at him funny, was the only kid who seemed... ok with him? It didn't make any damn sense. He always seems to be looking at Connor, but not with fear or malice like the others, but with something he couldn't describe. The hopeful part of him wanted to say... longing? Fondness? Well, it's not like Connor wanted Evan to think those things. It just confused him, that was all.

One thing that confused him even more than the way Evan looked at him, is how much Evan approached him, which is another thing people usually didn't do. Some of the more brave assholes approached him to say some stupid remark, like how much of a waste of space he was, which, it was TRUE, but that didn't mean he needed a fucking reminder. 

The first time Evan tried to talk to him, he had been pissed. Jared fucking Kleinman said something about him being a school shooter because of his hair, and all he saw was red. He wanted to punch him, but Jared had walked away, and he had every intention of chasing after him, but then he heard a sound. At first, he had thought Hansen had laughed at him, and he started yelling at him, and... he was nervous. Not the scared nervous most people got when he yelled at them, but like, he was debating something that was bound to make himself freak out. Connor had pushed him, pushed the guy who never looked at him like a freak, who had a freaking cast, a broken arm, TO THE GROUND. But as he stormed off, he heard a small voice behind him.

"I-I think your hair is gorgeous..."

Connor didn't look back, because even though he knew he should help him up, or say something, he felt a warmth in his chest that frankly, freaked him out. He stumbled for a moment as he quickened his pace, hearing the remnants of Evan making odd sounds, and instead of looking like he's on a rampage, he was walking like he was a nervous wreck, and it showed. 

The next day, he saw Evan more than usual, and put on his usual frustrated persona, even though in his chest, he felt... something.

He didn't know what.

Things stayed stagnant for a few months. He wasn't obsessed by any means, in fact, he never really started up a conversation with him, or sought him out. He just... thought of Evan sometimes. RARELY, Connor would say to himself, so it wasn't weird, definitely not. But he found more days would go by with Evan on his mind. He never really consciously went looking for Evan, but sometimes he found himself in similar areas without remembering going there. And Evan would occasionally compliment him so quietly, that he would've missed it if it wasn't for the fact he oddly seemed to notice a lot more about Evan than he wanted to. They never talked; outside of the rare and few kind words from Evan, neither of them made an effort to talk, or hang out. Though Connor HAD found himself in similar areas as Evan, he never got close, or approached him at all.

He thinks, he could like Evan, in another life.

Evan was cute, adorable actually, which is a cliche in itself: bad boy likes the goody-two-shoes, except, he did NOT LIKE Evan. The problem was, the more he observed about Evan, the more he realized, how perfect he was. Sure, he got nervous a lot, and was really quiet, but even so, Connor enjoyed the quiet. It's just that, Evan was too GOOD. He was a sweet kid, nice, attractive, not many friends but still had friends nonetheless, and he didn't have... issues, like Connor did. Sure, not many people bullied Evan, and when they did it was just little things, like his stutter, whereas EVERYONE hated Connor and every aspect of Connor, but Evan would only tear up, maybe run to the bathroom, and be done with it. Connor threw punches at even the possibility of an insult, and lately, any insults made towards Evan as well. 

Essentially, Evan deserved someone as sweet as Evan himself. In fact, he probably only pitied Connor, and that's why he said nice things about him. Maybe someone would like Connor someday, but it'd probably be someone who hated the world as much as he did, not the embodiment of perfection.

Connor decided to stop thinking of Evan.

This proved to be hard, when he was added into a group chat where everyone, including Evan himself, was fucking joking about him liking Connor, and even though he KNEW they were trying to rile him up, he was flustered with each thing he read. He didn't peg Hansen as the type to mess with people like that, but...  
It just didn't make sense. He seemed serious. Maybe Evan was just... stupid. He didn't really know, he was never the best with feelings, but after a stupid misunderstanding, he was waiting outside the school, waiting to finally talk to him, and maybe calm this weird feeling he had in his chest when he saw Evan walking towards him with that nervous, cute little smile on his face.

But, Connor did not like Evan.


	2. Evan likes Connor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean, it was pretty obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update the main story today I swear  
> I'm just waiting for my food to cook and I figured this would take less time lmao
> 
> SOME ANGST SORTA??? Sorry

Evan liked Connor.

It wasn't that he didn't find other people attractive, because he really did. In fact, he had tons of crushes throughout his life. He was one of those people who developed them easily, but most were fleeting, considering he crushed on Jared when he was little, and he was, well, Jared, and basically a bunch of random people at school that he never knew anything about as well. So naturally, when Evan first told Jared about how he felt about Connor, Jared brushed it off.

What he didn't mention yet was how long he had liked him.

Evan had always been a very in-the-background kind of guy, even when he was little. With the exception of Jared, nobody even knew Evan was in their class in 2nd grade. The class where Connor threw the printer. Evan didn't know when he started liking him, but he knew that after the printer incident, he didn't like him any less. It wasn't that he liked what he did, and as they grew older and Connor got more violent, Evan didn't like him for that either. He just knew there were other sides of him. But back to second grade. After it happened, the next day, nobody directly would talk to Connor. They'd stay away in fear, or make jokes from a distance that, now, wouldn't mean anything, but as a kid, sounded like the worst thing you could say about someone. Of course Evan would be the exception. Maybe it was pity, maybe it was his crush, or maybe it was the fact he felt like he could relate, he really didn't know what gave him this surge of confidence. But that day he offered to sit with Connor at lunch, and play together at recess. Connor was a little rude sometimes, but otherwise, fun to hang out with. Most of the time Evan would be with Connor when Jared was absent, which was fairly often (he got colds easily). But since the incident was a bit far into the school year, it wasn't a ton of time together. Evan forgot to ask Connor anything at the end of the year, like if they could hang out, so he just hoped they'd have the same class next year.  
They didn't though, and when he tried to reach out when he'd see him in the halls, he seemed confused. Like he didn't remember Evan. Which, to be fair, most people didn't. Much later he'd find out that Connor blocked a lot out after the incident because of how bad things got, but for now, Evan was devistated.

He didn't stop liking him, though.

He'd still daydream about him and all, and when they'd get classes together he'd spend time distracted by Connor's odd habits, like how he'd fall asleep in class, sometimes sitting upright, and how he'd scribble loops over and over again and somehow the mess of pen would turn into a half decent picture. Once, Connor seemed to be frustrated with how it turned out, and just left it on his desk, leaving the classroom. Evan considered giving it back, but ended up keeping it, since he sort of attempted to, but... He always seemed in too bad of a mood to approach. 

Connor seemed to be the only person he consistently liked. Even when Evan crushed on others, Connor was still in his mind, at the front, where his other crushes were a pleasant buzz in the background. Sometimes, Evan would try to do sweet things for him, since he was sort of a romantic, but it never really worked out. First of all, he was always too nervous to talk to him directly, so all things he did were from afar, which, Jared jokingly said he was creepy for. Second, he never really signed his name on anything, so nothing ever came of any good reaction he had. And third, Connor wasn't used to things like that, and usually had a bad reaction.

Take freshman year for example. Valentine's was coming up, and he decided to be brave somewhat, and write Connor notes leading up to it. He kind of wanted to reveal himself if the reaction was good, so he decided he'd send him a flower on the day of, with a note, since his school had a fundraising thing where you could buy flowers for Valentine's and send them to anyone.  
Evan tried his best to be genuine, not letting his anxiety getting in the way and being as cheesy as his heart truly felt, and even Jared thought it was adorable. To his surprise, so did Connor.   
The first day, he looked confused, but extremely embarrassed as well. Evan had never seen him so red before, as he shoved it in his pocket after shaking his head a bunch and trying to look pissed again. But Evan saw something in his eyes that wasn't so angry.  
The rest of the days leading up to Valentine's, Connor seemed to be looking forward to them, rushing to his locker and looking around to check nobody was watching, before reading it. He always had the cutest smile on his face, each day getting bigger and happier, before shoving it in his pocket as usual, and pretending he didn't just spend 5 minutes looking completely helpless.  
On Valentine's, was another story.  
Evan decided to put the note with the flower he bought, instead of in his locker, which he still regrets to this day.  
During class, a few students came in to pass out flowers, and finally came Connor's. 

"Connor Murphy?"

Connor immediately flushed, and looked at the flower with wonder, about to read the note attached, when the class started laughing and making jokes. Evan hadn't heard specifics as he was intently watching for Connor's reaction to his reveal, but it was somewhere along the lines of

**Connor couldn't have gotten a flower, who would do that?**

**Nobody would like a freak like him!**

**What an idiot!**

**It has to be a joke! Look, he actually believed someone would like HIM!**

Needless to say, he didn't read the note. All of that look he had in his eyes, that look of hope, was all gone. He trashed the flower and note, and stormed out. He was a lot more aggressive after that.

Evan considered confessing in person, running after him when he stormed off, but he probably would've thought Evan was in on the "joke", so he stayed put. He did, however, write another note, put in his locker for the next day. It didn't say who he was, but he apologized in it, saying that it wasn't a joke, it's just that everyone else is stupid, and if he wanted to really know who he was, he'd be waiting in the library at lunch for him. Connor just scoffed, crumpled it up, and threw it to the ground. He ended up skipping the rest of the day.

Evan himself started to lose hope too after that, knowing the one guy he loved wouldn't ever-

Wait.

Love?

He supposed he did, when he thought about it. He never felt quite as strongly about anyone like he did for Connor. And for all his faults, he felt this way for such a long time, never wavering. Jared told him that a lot of his other crushes, had some traits similar to Connor.

"Y-you mean... how you're b-both assholes?"

Jared laughed at that, and agreed.

The only problem is that Connor didn't like him back, and never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeet


	3. Zoe ships it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A different perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure about Zoe's personality so I'm sorry if it's ooc :(

Zoe didn't like either of them, of course. She only liked Alana.

That wasn't to say that she didn't somewhat like Connor, of course, as a brother. She always cared about him, despite... everything. Connor got less violent after a few years, and instead opted to ignore her. Most times now, when she somehow set him off, he'd make this pained face, and dash upstairs and start causing a racket. Usually it was punching the wall or something, so, needless to say, there were quite a few holes.  
Ok, a few is an understatement, but still.

As bad as it was still, she somewhat felt good about the fact he was doing that, instead of before. She asked him why once, on one of his good days, and he replied in a quiet voice.

"I don't want to hurt you. I never did"

Zoe just looked at him, confused. If he didn't want to, why did he for so many years? She asked why it's different now, if he never wanted to in the first place.  
He shrugged.

"You hate me."

And that was all for that conversation, as he went back to his room and skipped school.

For all that he's done, Zoe wants to believe he's trying. Sometimes now, they talk, but it's mostly Zoe putting in the work, and Connor with either one word replies, or replying with a certain finger, so she'd give up most days. It depended on how he was feeling really. Once, in early February of their freshman year, he was in a great mood, and they actually started having real conversations. She asked why he was so happy, and he just turned red and waved it off, joking about getting more weed, even though he didn't smell like it and he'd stopped for a couple months at her request. She grilled him for a while and he wouldn't say, so she just ignored it and they spent time doing what they used to, painting eachothers nails, braiding hair, and fake arguing about random stuff. She even told him about Alana, and when she gushed about her huge crush, Connor seemed to instantly soften.

When Valentine's came, Zoe was one of the ones passing out flowers, and she saw what had happened. 

Connor didn't come home until 3 am the next day, reeking of weed. He screamed at her the next morning because she was laughing at a text on her phone, thinking she was laughing at him.

The next day, she saw Connor throw the note, and after he stomped away, she picked it up and read it. Furious, she decided to go to the library, and see who hurt her brother, all for a sick joke. She opened the door, storming over to the table to yell at whoever just ruined years of progress with her brother, to see-

Evan?

She didn't expect that. He always seemed like a nice guy, quiet and anxious. Maybe he did it to gain some popularity? He only seemed to have one friend, after all. Either way, she was pissed.

So, she started yelling at him.

And Evan seemed to be confused? Well, before he started having a panic attack. Then all of a sudden someone came in, started yelling at Zoe, and then led Evan through some "breathing exercises", as he called it. Afterwards, there were some explanations needed.

"Who ARE you?"

"First you make my best friend have a panic attack, and now you're telling me you don't know the EXTREMELY cool and popular Jared Kleinman?"

Zoe wanted to laugh, but, she was still pissed.

"Now, why were you yelling at him?"

"Because he fucking upset my brother!"

"I mean, it's not that hard to, you know that, right?"

Evan squeaked up all of a sudden, still looking nervous.

"I-I, uh, I really d-didn' t mean to upset him! I just, I, was trying to, to be sweet, I'm so so so so so s-sorry! Pleasedon'ttellhimitwasme, I just, I-I really like him, I-"

"Wait, hold on, you ACTUALLY like my brother?" Zoe interrupted. It wasn't that she thought it was impossible, it was just weird going from totally ready to fight for her brother's honor, to being oddly happy. Though, it still struck her as odd. Sure, the Murphy siblings looked pretty similar, and a lot of people told Zoe she was beautiful, so obviously Connor was attractive too. But his reputation kind of ruined things. And Evan was... a nervous wreck.

"Well y-yeah, he's, um... he's gorgeous." Evan whispered that last part, with a blush creeping onto his cheeks. Jared started giggling.

"You should hear him at our sleepovers! Always gushing about how much he wishes he could make out with- mph!" Evan clamped his hand over Jared's mouth, squeaking slightly. 

"I. DO. NOT."

Zoe and Jared laughed for a bit at how flustered Evan was, and then things moved from there. Zoe, of course, apologized over and over for getting mad, to which Evan said it was alright, because it was to protect Connor, and that made him happy. After things were settled, they all properly introduced themselves, and decided to befriend Zoe. She was happy for many reasons, but mostly because, she soon found herself becoming more comfortable in her new friend group, and adding Alana to it made it feel like home.

It was an odd thing sometimes. She made an unlikely pleasant friendship with Jared, because despite his crude jokes, she spent a lot of time playing matchmaker with him to try to spark ideas of how to get Connor and Evan together. Which, after Jared filled her in on everything, they really seemed like they could be perfect together, even though they were opposites. And also despite his demeanor, Jared seemed to soften whenever romance was mentioned, and he'd get excited and animated whenever Zoe would talk about Alana, and while he'd tease her a bit, it was mostly him listening and giving advice and gossiping. 

Evan and Zoe weren't the closest yet; a lot of their conversations were talking about Connor, and they didn't spend a lot of one on one time together, but Zoe soon learned that was just because he preferred group interactions, and not because he didn't like her.

And Alana, well, was Alana.

And Zoe was happy right now.

But Zoe REALLY liked the idea of Connor and Evan together. She knew that it wouldn't fix his anger, and that he'd still have those days where he can't get out of bed, but, well...  
The way he acted from just those notes from Evan without even knowing who it was, made her think it'd be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y E E T


	4. Connor likes Evan (obviously)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's always been obvious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some thoughts I had relating to the other chapters that didn't make it in. Idk how to write so... enjoy?

Connor liked Evan.

Of course everyone knew it NOW, but for a long time, nobody, not even himself realized it. It wasn't that he didn't have emotions, he just had difficulty pinpointing what they were.

Looking back on it, he thinks he's liked Evan for a long time. Where it crossed from platonic to romantic, he isn't quite sure.

He may have... partially lied to Evan, when he said he didn't remember him after second grade. Well, he HAD, because he was the master of blocking things, but as soon as Evan approached him in the same nervous and hopeful way, he started to remember it. But even early on, he realized he would've been holding him back. He saw the way kids picked on Evan when they hung out. And Evan was actually a good kid! If it was some jerk, he would've let whatever happened happen, but... He couldn't do that to him. He looked so much better smiling anyways, and he was sure he'd be smiling more if he didn't associate with Connor. So he pretended he didn't know.

The way Evan started to tear up made him question his choice.

But he made it, he made his choice, and he refused to go back. Until he tried to, of course. The years would go by, where Connor would be alone, and... So would Evan. Jared had gone through a phase where he was a jerk to Evan, and so they didn't really hang out much, if at all. Evan looked miserable, to say the least. Connor wanted to reach out, despite his choice, because he seemed actually worse off. Not only was he alone, but he still got bullied regardless. He wasn't sure why either, Evan was amazing, cute and sweet, he shouldn't be getting hurt. So he decided towards the end of 8th grade, he'd go to Evan, and apologize for everything, as hard as it would be. So he headed for his locker was at the end of the day, prepared with everything he had to say, when...

Kleinman.

They were holding both of eachothers hands and giggling, standing so close to eachother. It made him want to vomit, seeing them like that. He wasn't even sure why, he should be happy that Evan is happy, but something just... hurt. Everything hurt and he suddenly got so mad that he stormed off, pushing some kid down on the way. He went home and after seeing Larry, left home, and just wandered, passing out at an orchard and staying there the next day or so. He didn't really get why he was upset. Upset wasn't a new feeling to him, but it burned in a different way than usual. So he pushed Evan from his mind, so he wouldn't have to deal with whatever... THAT feeling was.

And when Valentine's happened, of course he wished it was Evan. Some part of him thought it had to be him, nobody else has ever shown any interest, but that image of him and Jared made him doubt it. But the way it was written, seemed to just scream Evan, and... He really wanted it to be him. When he had gotten the flower, he realized, he REALLY liked whoever was sending him stuff. And then everyone started laughing. He knew it couldn't have been Evan then, he wouldn't have done something like that.

But then Evan said that he DID, and it wasn't a joke, and... well, realizing he liked him back for so long, and that he wasn't an idiot for believing in what gave him happiness for a while, he wasn't stupid, it was REAL, and he realized that everything good that's happened to him involved Evan and he just... He was overloaded with emotion. It was almost too much, he felt this extreme need to just, give affection, which he never really felt before, and it was so overwhelming he just had to go go go go go-

"I'm going to the bathroom now." He said, not really asking for permission, just, stating it, as he abruptly stood up, and left the classroom, the teacher just sighing. As soon as he left, he started running, running to Evan's class, but wait, he had that class before lunch, he's going the wrong way. He span on his heel and hightailed it the other direction, until he found himself bursting into the classroom. The... wrong classroom. He uttered a sorry as the teacher started yelling, asking where he's supposed to be, before he slammed the door shut and heard it rattle in place as he opened the door next to it, and just stood in the entrance. The teacher in that room was trying to say something to him, but he couldn't hear. All he could focus on was the way Evan was paying attention so intently on his test, brows furrowed as he lightly scratched something on his paper. He thought about how different they were in almost every way, down to even their handwriting; Evan had neat, light writing, whereas Connor's was a little messy, and really dark, since he had a heavy hand. He smiled as he watched Evan, just so dedicated to doing well, and he was just so struck with how cute he was that he couldn't contain himself, so he walked over to his desk as he looked up at Connor.

"Thank you, thank you so much, thank you, it was real, it wasn't just... thank you-" Connor kept getting quieter as he went, talking as if he couldn't believe any of this, as if it was too much to believe, and despite the fact just the other day he had kissed him on the cheek and they told eachother they liked the other, it still felt unreal, this had to be a dream, like it was impossible for Evan to like him, and the fact that he did made him so lucky, and it had been so long since he's been this happy, and his happiest moment that was crushed back then was actually real, EVERYTHING was real, sometimes he wondered if Evan was really real, and he just needs to-

"C-Connor? What are you- what are you doing here? I'm supposed to be-"

Connor crashed his lips against Evan's, holding him close as he heard him whimper for a moment in surprise. He had just started to kiss back after the initial shock wore off, but before he knew it the teacher had started pulling on Connor's hood, dragging him away. He could only barely hear the words "principals office" in the background, as he was too preoccupied watching Evan get farther and farther away. His face was so pink, and he had this look of amazement in his eyes. He wanted to see that every day. As he continued to be dragged away, he realized, he hadn't done what he actually went in there to do, muttering "fuck, shit, damn it" a few times, before blurting out what he wanted to ask him.

"PLEASE be my boyfriend!"

Damn it.  
He didn't really pose it as a question, and it kind of made him sound desperate and fuck he was so stupid, and he didnt get an answer because he was shoved into the office. But for a split second, he saw Evan's face light up and turn a deeper pink before he was put in this hell hole. That made it all worth it. Even though he didn't get to actually ask, he thinks he would've said yes.

And for once in his life, he believed everything would be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y  
>  E  
>  E  
>  T


	5. The Insanely Cool!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some backstory on Jared, and his relationship with Evan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what this is -shoves into your arms- just take it  
> Warning for hardcore treebros: this is kind of kleinsen oriented, but, you'll see

Jared didn't really like anyone at the moment.

He was a lot like Evan, in specific ways, and in one way it was that they both crushed very easily, and got over it easily. What can he say, he's gay as fuck.

Some people wondered how others could get over someone so easily. Jared could never answer, it just came easily for him. It wasn't that he didn't have emotions, he did, despite the way he acted.

Take for example, Evan.

Little did others know, they dated for a short period of time. They crushed on eachother at the same time luckily, and things just... worked.

Evan and Jared had been close all their lives. Inseperable, even. Neither of them really had any other friends, so they spent all of their time together. Until middle school, when Jared had gotten new friends. He still cared about Evan! He just... had to distance himself. It was for stupid reasons, he was just... trying to stay away from attention. People made fun of them all the time, and he was looking out for himself. It was a shitty move, and he hated himself for it. As he hung out with his new friends, who were actually jerks to him, he started to look at Evan from afar, wishing he could change things. And afterwards, feeling pathetic, because he COULD, he just, was an idiot. Or at least, he felt like one. It's so simple to just apologize, and yet, even when he did it in the mirror to practice he fucked it up. He decided to just go for it.

So he walked over near Evan's locker, and just, looked at him for a second. He looked like he did usually, just... more tired. He had a nasty bruise on his leg, probably from some kid, and he just wanted to reach out and hold him, tell him it would all be ok, run his fingers through his hair and promise to never leave him again, and then-

Wait, what?

He shook his head quickly, before realizing Evan had been staring at him strangely.

"What?"

"I-I said, I just, all I said was, hi. Do you... need something?"

For some reason Jared's heart started pounding, and he felt his cheeks warming up in a light blush. But instead of saying everything he wanted to, he instinctively acted as he always did when he had this feeling.

"Oookay, weirdo. Stop staring at me, ok?"

Evan trembled. "I... thought you w-wanted to.. talk..."

Jared felt a pang in his chest. He hated being like this, but it was like, his mouth said the first thing in his head, and his head put forth the worst things. He didn't want to be mean to Ev, he liked him too much to want to-

Wait, what?

"Why would I want to talk to you?" He blurted out, and then watched as Evan's eyes teared up, as he rushed away. In the corner of his eye, he saw Connor glaring at him. For what, he didn't know.

This was the last straw. Jared was sick of this. He had always been strangely rude, even though he never meant it, but it only got worse with his new "friends". He hated seeing Evan tear up in general, but from his own actions? That hurt more than anything. And this weird feeling in his heart made it worse. So, he stopped being friends with his rude group. He stayed alone, so he wouldn't hurt anyone. But he still needed to apologize to Evan. He was thinking about this, when he actually bumped into him.

"I-I-I'm sorry, please don't, d-don't be mad, I'm just, I."

Evan was a stuttering mess, and it looked like he was struggling to breathe too. Jared pulled him to sit on the ground and helped him focus on his breathing, holding into his hands, feeling guilty when Evan flinched at the touch at first. Eventually, when he calmed down, they just stared at eachother for a while, unsure of what to say. Jared decided to go first.

He apologized to Evan, for everything, and confessed that he thinks he has a crush on him, and went on a whole rant on his actions and how he understood if he'd never forgive him because he was shitty-

"I f-forgive you, Jared." He said, with a flustered smile. 

He stared at Evan with confusion, and then looked at the floor. 

"Ilikeyoutoo, but, but um, obviously, if you're serious, u-um, we could date, eventually, just... not yet, because, wow, I'm still... processing, I mean, I forgive you! It just, still... hurt." 

Jared was speechless, and, red. The bell rang for the end of the day, drowning out the giddy giggle he let out that he hated, he thought it was obnoxious. They got up and went to Evan's locker, and just held hands, talking and telling jokes, while Jared was careful with his words; he had only just been forgiven, he didn't want to risk his usual jokes when things were so new and yet so familiar again. He felt angry eyes watching him, and he turned and saw Connor storming off.

Once school ended, they dated. For only a month. Nothing bad happened, in fact, they were amazing together. Heidi thought they were perfect together, and joked about them getting married. They never got intimate, but the look on their faces when they just held hands or snuggled, showed that it was more than enough. They spent almost every second together during the summer. The thing was, as they both realized, they crushed easily, and fell out of crushes easily; of course, except for Evan's crush on Connor. So after a month, even though they still lived for all the affection they shared, they didn't really like eachother like that anymore. So, they broke up. It was kind of funny actually, Heidi had made a big deal about it, getting Evan a tub of vanilla ice cream (his favorite), asking if he was ok, if he needed some alone time, when Jared came back into the livingroom and plopped next to Evan on the couch, and she had the weirdest look on her face. There were no tears from the split, no sadness, it was just a "Idk I think you're just my friend" and a "same", and that was it. ... Okay, it was more than that, but neither of them were upset, and they immediately started hanging out the exact same way afterwards, just, without the flustered reactions to everything. They didn't understand why his mom was so distraught, so they just laughed and ate the ice cream together.

However, it made them closer than ever before. They agreed they'd still hold hands, snuggle, and lean on eachother whenever, it just had a different context. Evan liked touch, especially when he was freaking out, because it grounded him. They were best friends now, again but there was more of an understanding after everything, and after seeing eachother nonstop for a month, it helped them really see eachother in a light they never had before. And now, Jared knew he would never leave Evan behind again.

And besides, it was much more fun to help get him with Connor, despite his complaining about them being too cute. He was a hardcore treebros shipper, as he had dubbed them. And, it was hilarious when he put an arm around Evan and Connor shot a glare. He thinks Connor is literally a tsundere. He'd have to tell Evan that sometime. He probably wouldn't know what it meant though, but still.

He loves his best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeet


End file.
